A few months ago I left the thirties behind me as I celebrated my 40th birthday. It was a huge milestone in my life for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I decided to start living. I was tired of being tired all the time, tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of feeling lonely, bored, and depressed. I needed to make some changes. What better time than to do it than on the cusp of a new decade of life? So I began to think about things that I'd always wanted to do, but never dared to. I began to think about times in my life when things were going particularly well for me, and what I was doing then to make things better. After much pondering and research, I came up with the idea of doing a birthday challenge. Since I was turning 40, I would make it a 40 day challenge - 40 days to my 40th birthday. I created a list, and recruited my sister's help to generate ideas of things that I could do.
Each of the 40 days leading up to my birthday I did something from the list. Some of the things were easy, and some were hard, but they all challenged me in ways that I hadn't allowed myself to be challenged before. I started to change. I became more confident, more understanding, more relaxed. I became less bothersome, less self-absorbed, less depressed. There are still times that I struggle with the new me - change is hard - but I'm finally becoming the person that I was meant to be: happy! Every day I find things to be grateful for. I'm not afraid to do things anymore, things like call the doctor's office, or say hello to strangers, or go to something by myself. I'm sure of who I am, and what I want, and the things that I like and don't like. I've given up, mostly, the idea that I have to be someone else's version of perfect to be accepted. I've learned to accept me the way I am. I've started taking care of myself (eating right and exercising) because I finally understand that I am worth the effort it takes to be healthy even if I don't lose weight as a by-product (but I have lost weight).
Changes continue to happen in my life, and I still have moments, and even days, of complete stress and anxiety. I've been struggling a little of late with some of the changes, and what is happening in my little world. So, I thought it would be a good idea, and a good time, to chronicle my 40 days to 40 adventures, and really think about the effect they've had on my life so that I can continue on the path of confidence and happiness.
Each of the 40 days leading up to my birthday I did something from the list. Some of the things were easy, and some were hard, but they all challenged me in ways that I hadn't allowed myself to be challenged before. I started to change. I became more confident, more understanding, more relaxed. I became less bothersome, less self-absorbed, less depressed. There are still times that I struggle with the new me - change is hard - but I'm finally becoming the person that I was meant to be: happy! Every day I find things to be grateful for. I'm not afraid to do things anymore, things like call the doctor's office, or say hello to strangers, or go to something by myself. I'm sure of who I am, and what I want, and the things that I like and don't like. I've given up, mostly, the idea that I have to be someone else's version of perfect to be accepted. I've learned to accept me the way I am. I've started taking care of myself (eating right and exercising) because I finally understand that I am worth the effort it takes to be healthy even if I don't lose weight as a by-product (but I have lost weight).
Changes continue to happen in my life, and I still have moments, and even days, of complete stress and anxiety. I've been struggling a little of late with some of the changes, and what is happening in my little world. So, I thought it would be a good idea, and a good time, to chronicle my 40 days to 40 adventures, and really think about the effect they've had on my life so that I can continue on the path of confidence and happiness.
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