Day 7: April 18, 2017
Challenge: Compliment a Stranger
I'm sure this might not seem like a super challenging thing for many, but for me interacting with strangers is excruciating. I've struggled my entire adult life, and much of my childhood as well, with social anxiety. My heart races, my palms get all sweaty, my mind goes completely blank. I suppose it all stems from my fear of being rejected, which is a by-product of the emotional abuse I endured in my youth. In any case, it's hard for me to talk to people. This may come as a shock to some of my friends, but for most of you, if you think back to when we first met, you'll recall that you probably thought I was cold, snobbish, shy, or defensive. I do not open up to people easily, and I do not have a lot of close friends, because I am sure that people have no reason to like me. I know in the deep recesses of my mind that this is not true, but convincing my heart is another matter.
So, I decided that I needed to step outside of my comfort zone and challenge myself to talk to a stranger. I figured a quick compliment would be the best way to go, because it was unlikely to lead to a deep conversation, and they needn't respond to me at all. So, I walked through the store and looked for someone that I could compliment. I saw an elderly lady walk past with a very cool 60's-style bouffant hairdo, and I said: "Excuse me ma'am, but I just had to tell you that I think your hair is lovely." She responded with: "Thank you dear, I just had it done for my granddaughter's wedding. I hope you have a good day." I thanked her and went on my way.
No life-changing moment here, except that I learned giving compliments to random people doesn't hurt anyone, especially not me. I felt better about myself than I had in a long time. I now try to give at least one compliment a day. It doesn't have to be to a stranger, but if that's who I'm interacting with that day, well, it's no longer outside my comfort zone to say something nice.
Challenge: Compliment a Stranger
I'm sure this might not seem like a super challenging thing for many, but for me interacting with strangers is excruciating. I've struggled my entire adult life, and much of my childhood as well, with social anxiety. My heart races, my palms get all sweaty, my mind goes completely blank. I suppose it all stems from my fear of being rejected, which is a by-product of the emotional abuse I endured in my youth. In any case, it's hard for me to talk to people. This may come as a shock to some of my friends, but for most of you, if you think back to when we first met, you'll recall that you probably thought I was cold, snobbish, shy, or defensive. I do not open up to people easily, and I do not have a lot of close friends, because I am sure that people have no reason to like me. I know in the deep recesses of my mind that this is not true, but convincing my heart is another matter.
So, I decided that I needed to step outside of my comfort zone and challenge myself to talk to a stranger. I figured a quick compliment would be the best way to go, because it was unlikely to lead to a deep conversation, and they needn't respond to me at all. So, I walked through the store and looked for someone that I could compliment. I saw an elderly lady walk past with a very cool 60's-style bouffant hairdo, and I said: "Excuse me ma'am, but I just had to tell you that I think your hair is lovely." She responded with: "Thank you dear, I just had it done for my granddaughter's wedding. I hope you have a good day." I thanked her and went on my way.
No life-changing moment here, except that I learned giving compliments to random people doesn't hurt anyone, especially not me. I felt better about myself than I had in a long time. I now try to give at least one compliment a day. It doesn't have to be to a stranger, but if that's who I'm interacting with that day, well, it's no longer outside my comfort zone to say something nice.
— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 19, 2017
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