Day 13 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 13: April 24th, 2017
Challenge: Attend a sponsored event

This one was an extension of the party planning one in that I recognized a need in myself to spend more of my energy and focus on other people. There are events, parties, games, books, etc. that carry the sole purpose of supporting a cause, organization, or person. Often time these things aren't very expensive, and there is no reason why I shouldn't be supporting others. This was an easy one to accomplish because my school just happened to have a Sonic night during my 40 days. So, I went to Sonic to support my school!

Get out and do!

Attend a sponsored event! #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #schoolsonicnight #sonicselfie #gettinmytots pic.twitter.com/2YLH3JxaBA

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 24, 2017

Day 12 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 12: April 23, 2017
Challenge: Plan a party

At the outset, this is another challenge that is seemingly simple. All I had to do was decide where and when I wanted my birthday party to be, and create a Facebook event to invite all my friends. Easy-peasy! But, I've had bad experiences with parties. I've thrown a lot of parties in my time, easily over a hundred, however I can count on one hand the number of parties that I felt were a success. It takes all my fingers and toes, and maybe my cat's as well, to count the number of parties I've thrown where nobody came. And that's not even counting the ones where none of my friends came and "my" party was peopled by my sister's friends. So, anxiety about throwing my 40th birthday bash, arguably the most important party of my life to date, and having nobody show up was nearly crippling. That is why I felt that this task needed to be included as part of my birthday challenge.

The lesson to learn here is that I deserve to celebrate, and it doesn't matter if nobody else wants to celebrate with me. I needed to be completely OK with this concept. As soon as I let go of whether or not people would actually show up, then it was easy to call IHOP and say 20 people would be coming. It's a funny thing in life that when you stop worrying about what other people think, it allows you to think about other people. And, when you think about other people, they, in turn, think about you. I became a lot less self-absorbed, which strangely enough made me a lot more confident, and personable. It was a really good lesson to learn.

Plan a party! #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #everyoneisinvited #IHOPonmybirthday #breakfastfoodsaremyfavorite #29daystogo

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 24, 2017

Day 11 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 11: April 22, 2017
Challenge: Buy Something Frivolous

For much of my life, I have lived under the presumption that I don't deserve things that I want just because I want them. If I want something, I have to justify getting it: Is it cost effective? Do I need it? Will I get a lot of use out of it? Can I eat it? and so on. I have denied myself a lot of things because of this presumption. Then, after much denial, I splurge and buy something ridiculous - usually food - that puts me in debt or makes me ill and makes me feel guilty for spending money that I shouldn't have spent. Then I start denying myself again, even to the point of not allowing myself things that I probably need (new clothes, household items, etc.). This cycle has consumed most of my adult life, and it needs to stop.

The first step was to convince myself that I could have something I wanted just because I wanted it, I don't have to justify what I want to anyone, not even myself, I just have to check that I'm not going into debt and keeping my budget balanced. So this challenge was to find something that I wanted for no other reason that I wanted it. I went to the store, and started looking around. On the shelf I saw a Spirograph. I remember when I was in 6th grade several of the students in my class had one of these things, and I thought they were dead cool. I wanted one so badly, but mom said I didn't need it so I couldn't have it. Well, now I have one. It was fun and frivolous. I've used it all of one time since I bought it, so I definitely didn't get my money's worth, but it was still worth it. It was something that I wanted for no other reason than I wanted it.

One frivolous purchase is not going to change a lifetime of bad spending habits and self-loathing. And I've still had some spending splurges (can anyone say "new car"?), but I've learned that I am worthy of fun things, I deserve to have things I want. With that in mind, it's been a lot easier to create and stick to a budget, and I don't binge on food, music, or movies nearly as often as I used to because I'm not denying myself as much any more.

So, go get yourself something fun!

Buy something you've always secretly wanted but never got because it's frivolous! #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #funbutuseless pic.twitter.com/b0C70lYHu4

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 22, 2017