Day 10 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 10: April 21, 2010
Challenge: Do something to improve your mind

For the last several years of my life, I've spent an exorbitant amount of time "vegging." I sit around and watch TV whilst I play games on my phone or computer, I reread books, I sleep for more hours than I need; I basically just faff about doing nothing of any import. Aside from granting me an insane amount of useless trivia and British vocabulary, this faffing about has gotten me absolutely nowhere in my life. I decided that I needed to spend less time doing useless things, and more time doing useful things: reading new books, spending time with the scriptures, spending time with friends, writing, learning, etc. I needed to do something to improve my mind, not fill it with fluff.

For this challenge I began (again) studying German. I started using my Duolingo app (which is brilliant and easy to use, and has loads of languages, and no they're not paying me for this, though I wish they were) to learn and study German. Why German? Well, for those of my readers who don't know this, I minored in German in college. I started studying German in junior high because I wanted to study music in Germany when I was younger and I thought that speaking German would help me get there. I never did get to study music there, but I did get to travel there, and hope to do so again someday. It seemed fitting, therefore, when I wanted to improve my mind that I would renew my language learning efforts.

I have since abandoned those efforts, not the language learning, the German, because I have decided that Spanish is more relevant for my life right now. In addition to teaching a population that is largely Hispanic, I have married someone from Mexico. I can just hear my mom now "I told you Spanish would be more useful, I could have helped you learn it." Yes, mom, you were right! Well, now I get to experience learning a language in my 40s, so that's super fun! #adventureswithPedro

Do something to improve your mind! #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #languagelearning #sprechensieDeutsch pic.twitter.com/wfCcC2xwjZ

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 21, 2017

Day 9 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 9: April 20, 2017
Challenge: see a live performance

This challenge was a little tricky because I had to find a live performance within the time frame of the challenge that I could afford to attend. Lucky for me I have friends who are performers. Aside from that, this was one of the easier ones of the challenge because I love attending live performances. To me, it's one of the best things to do in the world: watch people share their souls on a stage. I love doing it myself, and I love watching others do it too. In spite of the seemingly simple nature of this task, I included it in the birthday challenge to remind myself to not make excuses to do things I love. I'm constantly creating reasons why I can't go to things, the biggest one being that people will judge me if I show up alone. Every single time I can remember going to a play or a concert alone, I've come away feeling like my soul has been fed, and I wonder why I don't go more often. Then the next opportunity comes along and I talk myself out of going; it's a little ridiculous.

Anyhow, I needed a reminder as part of my challenge that I love seeing live performances because they speak straight to my heart and make me feel very happy. I needed to document this fact for future reference so that I would no longer come up with excuses for not going to plays and concerts. I don't care any more if I have to go alone, if I've got a chance to go then I'm going.

See a live performance! #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #yayformusic #yayformusicalfriends pic.twitter.com/N6GAlwUnmN

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 20, 2017

Day 8 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 8: April 19, 2017
Challenge: Write a poem

Not many people know this about me, but I write poetry. When I was in high school and college, I had some of my poetry published in school, local, and even national publications. I've won awards for my poetry, and had my poetry used as an examples in writing classes. I'm mostly proud of what I've written, but I'm also terrified that someone will find out about this hobby of mine and rip it apart. They won't like my poetry and, by extension, that means they won't like me.

So, for this challenge, I not only had to create a new original poem, but post it where others would know that it was my creation. I sat down, and just wrote what came to my mind. Then I posted it before I could chicken out and change my mind. I can't really explain how, but it was kind of freeing to see my poem on social media. I was proud of it, and I learned that it didn't matter what anyone else thought of it, it was mine, and it was me.

Write a poem! #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #wordsmith https://t.co/jbTYRJ3ywx

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 20, 2017

Day 7 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 7: April 18, 2017
Challenge: Compliment a Stranger

I'm sure this might not seem like a super challenging thing for many, but for me interacting with strangers is excruciating. I've struggled my entire adult life, and much of my childhood as well, with social anxiety. My heart races, my palms get all sweaty, my mind goes completely blank. I suppose it all stems from my fear of being rejected, which is a by-product of the emotional abuse I endured in my youth. In any case, it's hard for me to talk to people. This may come as a shock to some of my friends, but for most of you, if you think back to when we first met, you'll recall that you probably thought I was cold, snobbish, shy, or defensive. I do not open up to people easily, and I do not have a lot of close friends, because I am sure that people have no reason to like me. I know in the deep recesses of my mind that this is not true, but convincing my heart is another matter.

So, I decided that I needed to step outside of my comfort zone and challenge myself to talk to a stranger. I figured a quick compliment would be the best way to go, because it was unlikely to lead to a deep conversation, and they needn't respond to me at all. So, I walked through the store and looked for someone that I could compliment. I saw an elderly lady walk past with a very cool 60's-style bouffant hairdo, and I said: "Excuse me ma'am, but I just had to tell you that I think your hair is lovely." She responded with: "Thank you dear, I just had it done for my granddaughter's wedding. I hope you have a good day." I thanked her and went on my way.

No life-changing moment here, except that I learned giving compliments to random people doesn't hurt anyone, especially not me. I felt better about myself than I had in a long time. I now try to give at least one compliment a day. It doesn't have to be to a stranger, but if that's who I'm interacting with that day, well, it's no longer outside my comfort zone to say something nice.

Compliment a stranger! #yourhairislovely #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #outofmycomfortzone

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 19, 2017

Day 6 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 6: April 17, 2017
Challenge: Go somewhere you've never been

The thought behind this challenge is a simple one: try new things! I had originally planned to take a little trip somewhere close that I'd never been to, but decided that trying a new eatery place was just as effective. So, I took my sister, Betsy, with me to Menchie's, a frozen yogurt place in West Valley. It was OK, but I like YogurtLand better. The thing is, I wouldn't know that YogurtLand is better if I hadn't gone to Menchie's. It's good to try new things, experiment a little with routines and norms. You may not find a new favorite, but you never know unless you try.

Since that day, I've tried a few other restaurants that I'd never been to before, but even more wild than that is that I've tried new foods  that I never would have thought about before (roasted beef heart is super amazing). I don't always get my "usual" at places that I frequent anymore, and I don't even buy the same things at the grocery store. Being willing to try new things is way more fun, and way less scary than I thought could be possible.

Go somewhere you've never been before! #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #frozenyogurt #celebration pic.twitter.com/1g6dfgt5ZX

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 18, 2017

Day 5 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 5: April 16, 2017
Challenge: Do something you haven't done since childhood

This one was super fun for me. In spite of the fact that I say I had an awful childhood that damaged me in more ways than I care to admit, I do have a lot of fond memories. There are many things that I did as a child that brought me joy, and I don't do them any more, because they're childish, or I don't have anyone to do them with. Dancing and singing to the music at the grocery story, walking and playing in the park, coloring, drawing, reading in a blanket fort, having pancakes for dinner, etc. When I began the birthday challenge, the whole idea of it was to push myself to do things that bring me joy, no matter what I think other people may be thinking about me. Children have an innate ability to find things that are joyful and not worry about what others think, but as they get older they are taught to settle down and conform and not embarrass their family. They allow themselves to stop doing things they like because they're not cool. They leave behind the joyful for the sensible. Now I'm not saying that sensible can't be joyful, I'm just saying that like so many others that I know I've given up things that I once enjoyed because of the perception that they are inappropriate for someone my age, or embarrassing, or not cool.

I still have plenty of room to grow in this area. "I Love Rock'n'Roll" came on the musak system at Walmart the other day, and I started belting along with it and dancing around the aisle while I was looking for something. That is until I noticed a lady scoffing at me, then I immediately hung my head and scurried around the corner hoping that I wouldn't see her again. I realize that I have every right to enjoy music in public, and since I can sing and dance well, I really had nothing to be embarrassed about. But I'm still so worried about what other people think. I'm better and more confident than I was, but I still need to work on embracing the joy and ignoring the norms. I need to be more childlike in my appreciation of the world around me.

Do something you haven't done in years! #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge #HappyEaster pic.twitter.com/LueLaF6qLN

— Stacy Snider (@StacyLeeSnider) April 17, 2017

Day 4 of the #40daysto40 #birthdaychallenge Madness

Day 4: April 15
Challenge: Post a silly selfie

After embracing the silliness of speaking in an accent for a whole day, this one was kind of a breeze. It still took me until the evening to do it, though, because I don't want to be seen as frivolous or silly. Generally speaking, I want people to take me seriously. However, we all need to let loose, including me, and be OK with the idea of laughing at ourselves. So, I went extra and used an app to really get silly; and I loved it!